If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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