Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Reggie can tackle my bush.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
