i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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