i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
