so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
