This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
