the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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