I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
