I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
