Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
