awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
