i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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