Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My hand turned me down
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
