Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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