i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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