I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
