If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
