Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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