I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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