I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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