You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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