I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My bed smells like the plague
Why did my mother make you get naked?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
