this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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