"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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