I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
