She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
