I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
