shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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