So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
