He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have tasted many bathrooms
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