Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
