Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
