So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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