dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
