the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
