After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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