Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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