I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
