So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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