so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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