sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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