There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No...this little piggys going to the bar
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
