hell yes lets make some ravioli
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hippo gnu deer
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
