If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I want a musical about memes.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
