remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
