so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
