I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
