Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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