You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We need to get me chipped asap
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
