All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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