Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize