i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize