Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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