I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
