Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
