No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
