I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
