We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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