Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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