mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
