His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
