I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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