those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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