You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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