Im at strip club and am horny
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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