so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
