God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize