You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
