apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
